Through a child's eyes
by mika-thoma
Summary: Ruki is watching his parents sleep. He is so young. He has no idea what is really going on. In the end he can only find comfort with his hand clasped in Reita's.


**Title:** Through a child's eyes  
**Author:** Mika  
**Beta:** thethirdstone  
**Band:** The Gazette  
**Pairing:** Ruki x Reita / Taka x Aki-kun  
**Rating:** PG15  
**Genre:** Angst, romance (?)  
**Chapters:** One shot / drabble  
**Warning:** Character deaths  
**Disclaimer:** If I owned them, you'd be reading real-life photographed yaoi...  
**Summary:** _I smile because I think it's pretty.  
_**Note:** Certainly this took a totally different turn in the end that what I planned. Please comment!

_They all look at me with their saddened eyes, shaking their head as a "no-no" and whispering to each other so that I can't hear them here where I stand, they approach me and their hands linger for long moments on my small shoulder._

_I'm smiling because I stand next to my mommy and daddy that lie in this box much like a bed and surrounding them both are many beautiful flowers, smelling just like the ones in grandmother's garden. I smile because I think it's pretty._

_But I'm confused by all the people who are here to watch mommy and daddy sleep. I am confused by the suit daddy is wearing, and mommy's prettiest dress. Why are there flowers on their bellies? And what's up with these boxes? Why is everyone sad? I wonder why onichan ran out with tears in his eyes._

_Turning to the side, I stand on my toes to look down at daddy. He looks happy, wearing his best smile. Daddy never fails to entertain. So I smile back at him with my teeth showing proudly. With much effort I stretch my hand and let my fingertips trail down daddy's smooth skin. It's a bit cold.. Why is daddy's face cold even though it's so warm in here?_

_I retreat my hand and turn around to see you standing in front of me. Teary eyes and runny nose, your whole face is a mess and you look quite bitter. But I just smile at you. _

_I can't understand why you don't smile back at me..._

_Without much thought I just reach out my hand and with the sleeve of my suit I wipe your face. And then I hear the sobs fighting their way out of your throat. Suddenly your hand entwines with mine and you hold it so tightly. In a way, I become very sad. I become very angry. Why are you sad? I think to myself: I don't like the sad Aki-kun. But I smile anyway thinking it will cheer you up. I lean forward and place a lingering kiss on your plush lips. _

"_Taka..."_

"_Shush. When mommy's sad daddy does that and mommy isn't sad anymore."_

_I don't know the meaning of touching you with my lips. I don't know anything. But if it helps mommy, it surely has to help you too._

"_Mommy! You have to wake up now!"_

_I shout out. A tingling feeling flutters in the bottom of my stomach. Then everyone turns around to stare at me. With my smile I curiously look around at everyone. _

"_Mommy!" _

_I cry out again. But you don't hear me.. Still sleeping over there. I see grandmother coming closer, then she bends down. I can see how the tears stain her wrinkled cheeks. She hugs me and I can smell her perfume. When she lets me go I turn my head to look at you, you're just standing still and your hand tightens its grip around mine. Turning back to grandmother, my smile has vanished._

"_Honey, they won't wake up again. I'm so sorry, sweetie."_

_She tries to engage me into another hug, but I step backwards, my eyes wide and my teeth biting hard down on my lip. I can feel my nails dig into Aki-kun's palm. But I can't believe in anything anymore. I turn to look at your face, with disbelief written on mine._

I lay down the flowers in front of the gray tombstone that has mother's and father's name carved on it, in black letters. My smile has come back to me. Maybe because it's been a very long time since you died. Perhaps I am facing life with new eyes. It might be because I know that death is inevitable. Whatever the reason is, I can now stand here and face them both with a smile.

Personally, I believe it's because your hand in is still in mine...


End file.
